drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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