What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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