Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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