they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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