I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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