we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My pussy is not your playground.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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