I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
