the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am spending my child support on dildos
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
