belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
