Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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