Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
