Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
