keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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