So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
