You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
