My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
