so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
