I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
