My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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