seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
