Kareoke will never be a sober sport
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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