hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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