I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
