If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
