hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
