he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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