i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
