Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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