I'm passing your future prison.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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