On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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