Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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