A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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