My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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