WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
