I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
