Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
