How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
