Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
