ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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