wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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