So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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