he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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