Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
