Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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