I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
