I accidentally burped into my bong.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
