yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
