it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
