We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
