he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
