I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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